ClockWork (Tick Tock)

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick.....

The same old tune keeps playing in my soul
Holds me down from acheiving my goals
Only god knows whats in store in me
Just bad opportunites that keep calling me
But I'm interested in what people are offering me
But just more interested in working the streets
More interested in my poetry
More interested in choices made by the people
Why one choice is good and the other one is evil?
Taught about God and divinity
Time and infinity
What does this truly mean?
Been told not agrue but accept a skeptical concept
But except my mind won't let go of it
Its been killing me
Allah
Shiva
The Holy Trinity
Which fairy tale do you want us to believe?
Why people choose not to believe?
Only time gaps us farther from the truth
Earth proof has eluded us once again
Erasing the memories of heroes, the legends of evil
Why time controls all men?
A man-made theory
Made strictly for organization of history
But continues to rule our life under restrictions
We know what we got to do and when to do it
All we need is

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick.....

"And a wise man told me
Don't date the days, cause a date don't change the days
And flippin pages don't change your ways
All that does is change the page"
That affects me in major ways
I never had enough time to any thing I wanted
I can't buy it, can't trade it, can't make it
I hate it, I wish I could just throw it away
And maybe people won't be depressed
Because a fairy tale wouldn't save them from misery and stress
Waiting till the day they die
Crossing off the days of the calender
Slowly investigating, and contemplating sucide
Damn
If we can't control it, why we create it?
If we use it constantly, why do we hate it?
Why can't we change it?
Why did we make some thing that brings only stress
All we can do is wait
Sitting down just staring at its face
Watch the hands close and separate
One minute your happy and the next hurt
Just from looking at the clockwork
Hearing the clock go

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick.....

I wonder why these units run our life?
Why can't we change a unit?
Change the value,
Why people do things they aren't supposed to be doing?
I seen people been moving some units
People aren't clueless
Some people are just screwed up
Everyone has been tripping over time
Changing over time
Changing because of time
Only because its time
Time made you waste life
Life doesn't waste time
You better live according yourself
Keep it in mind
Age is just a number to count how long you live
No matter no long it is
Don't make it a struggle or a big deal
Don't ever let it put you down, I know how you feel
(145x...miss u)
Time made technology foster
Only brought us more destruction to deal with
Only a loaded gun could heal it
Only a fission bomb could solve it
The fat man did its job, Nagasaki still feels it
But still what can I do?
I still can't change the truth
Because it still controls you
Still has hold on you
Even what Earth has been through...
Time made everything works
And there is nothing we can do about it
No use to doubt it, no use to cry about it
And with the soft motions of the clock
All we can do is listen to it


Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick.....

15 days (don' t worry and tell me what you think )

I can’t remember how her hands feel
but her essence still lingers in memories
And her smile is as vivid as the sun
Sticky fingers
Every day after
That ice cream cone mommy told her she couldn’t have
52 pounds at ‘3”7 short
Curly hair down to the ground
She told me once that my eyes resembled that of an angel witched refused to carry its wings
Beautiful
I remember how she was always beautiful because she didn’t know the definition of ugly
Remember how she love red
but only
before it stained bed sheets Running down thighs she wondered if time would return what was rightfully hers
Finding that crying doesn’t help if your tears have no where to go
Remer her asking me if what so vividly played repeatedly in her mind was right
if it was okay to be touched in such a way
Only 15 days
before her,
My
9th birthday
I remember the last time she cried
But only because her tears were beautiful
Holding
The words that once lived on her lips
That was the last time she cried for mommy
Because mommy never came
and after he came
He told her to wash him of her flesh and never was she to let mommy know because
It would hurt her so
And she asked for me to help keep lips closed
But that doesn’t mean I had to let her go
Blissful ignorance
And way to many gaps between her teeth
She is the way to live life
And all I want to do
Is to want to live life
Want to say fuck slit wrists
I have enough scars to know what it feel likes to heal
But only wounds
See I need to know
How to heal the distance
Between the maturity and innocents in my adolescence
And no her face will not be printed on the back of any milk cartons
And every time I hold her picture and ask if anyone has seen her
They say unless you have a twin she’s standing before me
But what they fail to see is the purity held within her eyes
Unlike mine
Writing letters filed with apologetic words
To send to an address that I don’t have
I can’t call to apologize for letting her hand go
because her number isn’t listed as one of my contacts in my cell phone
And though I can ask to be forgiven
For letting her hands go at age 8
I know
I can never be forgiven
for
Forgetting how her hands felt
Only 15 days
before her,
My
9th birth day