Middle/high school, and college aged poets whose poetry was born in the Bronx, NY, USA. These are our assembled voices, thoughts, feelings, secrets, memories and visions. We’ve discussed with dignitaries; competed with collegiates; we’re a stew of cultures; a quilt of heritages, and we come in many shades, shapes and sizes. We are now, and we are poised and ready to rock this tiny world. What you experience here is ours; visceral and aggressive, inquisitive and passive, and always true.
Jan 12, 2007
Jesica's Video
Hey, we need feedback...What can she do? How is it so far? You know we can't leave it up for too long, so help soon please...! You guys left the team in excellent hands!
(Video Removed...Slam is coming soon, can't give away too much!)
Thanks for all of your helpful suggestions; we're working on them!!!
i luv this poem even after the 5oth reading i still like it :) i think when she messes up she shouldn't show it cuz no one would have really noticed. well i suck at imporving otheers poems so i'll will leave for the proz lol
Good poem jesica! you should work on your breathing when u get to the screaming part about angolina jolie
You also need to work on your last line because you droped it to much. Try to soften it up dont drop it
I really love this poem i know that i sound like a critic but one more thing try to find something to do with your hands there kind of all over the place. kepp up th e good work.
yea u defintely got it!! like carissma said you just dropped the ending, and you know what, I am going to be a harsh critic sorry jesica....
she had vioce inflection, could use more movement and not rocking side to side like issaka, transitions through different emotions is a plus, imagery is a plus, not putting her hand on her stomach but using them more frequently to draw more attention, seemed like you almost forgot some lines in the ending because you tripped over them so that needs some more work, I liked the singing part (good voice jesica) just like wayne
ok prolific poet you not gonna take this title away lol I'm going to be BIG and people are going to mention my name, I'm just here to help your generation and bring pride back into 145 and show we still have what it takes to be the champs. You already know I think this poem is simply amazing now GET TO WORK! lol
Thanks guys, you know the next generation needs more encouragement than you did; but this is their first and only year!!! She's been reluctant, and hesitant to put herself out there, but I'm certainly, especially glad she's chosen to! We've of course worked on some things, but there's always room for improvement. Jesica will read these and we'll work on what you've suggested (old pros...!) All of your suggestions are greateully accepted/appreciated, and we will work on them. Thanks for not forgeting about the 45!
Omg, i've never seen you perform, and this being the first time i see you, i'm stunned!!! i love your poem and i love your voice, keep it up, cause you definately have the potential. Some things you have to work on, like what ryan said. The moving back and forth thing has gotta stop, although sometimes you might not be able to realize you're doing it. i'm not sure if at one point, you smiled when you heard how the class reacted, but if that's the case try to stay focused on the mood and tone you want to project and it'll show people that you're focused and not easily distracted, and the transition of your facial expressions and tone will all fall into place.
WHoa...man...is that the first reading? wow she's on Nuyorican cafe level..dang..I guess 145 are in really good hands..well all i gotta say is to stop rocking back and forth but she got everything down pat!! WHOA!! Hey when is the slam?
Damn man...i missed it. I wanted to see how she performed this poem, she said the poem to me already, but it would've been better to watch her perform. Well anywayz, i'm pretty confident that she will do good in the slam and give everybody chills. I guess that when I see her 4 da first time it'll be a suprise 4 me. Good luck in the slam, and oh yeah- I'll be there.
jessica calm down! u can do it go to your happy place so tak that pitty full face off or u want me to take it off of u ok theres nothing to wary about ok i strongly suggest mr craig to attach kimberly to u for alittle wile ok so u can do it i wish u the best of good luck!!!
do not dout your self u can do it u can no one is perfect so take easy u r the true tallent sayy that to your mind before u start and wile u r in your happy place ok!! because i would for u
you did it and mr. caig didnt Ieven have to attach mrs. happy to u c i told u can do it and u didnt dout yourself and u got the highest score well u did beter than me thank u for taking my advice u r the fam the slam fam ofcourse U DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN I KNEW U CAN DO IT U R GREAT U ROCKED THAT STAGE U WERE THE STAGE U R THEPOEM
IM STEVEN I FORGOT MY PASS WORD IN THE CLASS WELL IN AFTER SCHOOL WILE U WERE SITING RIGHT INFRONT OF ME
i luv this poem even after the 5oth reading i still like it :) i think when she messes up she shouldn't show it cuz no one would have really noticed. well i suck at imporving otheers poems so i'll will leave for the proz lol
ReplyDeletethat poem is awesome but dont let people know that you mess up just keep going!!Continue writing because then can become even greater!!
ReplyDeleteGood poem jesica! you should work on your breathing when u get to the screaming part about angolina jolie
ReplyDeleteYou also need to work on your last line because you droped it to much. Try to soften it up dont drop it
I really love this poem i know that i sound like a critic but one more thing try to find something to do with your hands there kind of all over the place. kepp up th e good work.
Carissma
yea u defintely got it!! like carissma said you just dropped the ending, and you know what, I am going to be a harsh critic sorry jesica....
ReplyDeleteshe had vioce inflection, could use more movement and not rocking side to side like issaka, transitions through different emotions is a plus, imagery is a plus, not putting her hand on her stomach but using them more frequently to draw more attention, seemed like you almost forgot some lines in the ending because you tripped over them so that needs some more work, I liked the singing part (good voice jesica) just like wayne
ok prolific poet you not gonna take this title away lol I'm going to be BIG and people are going to mention my name, I'm just here to help your generation and bring pride back into 145 and show we still have what it takes to be the champs. You already know I think this poem is simply amazing now GET TO WORK! lol
Thanks guys, you know the next generation needs more encouragement than you did; but this is their first and only year!!! She's been reluctant, and hesitant to put herself out there, but I'm certainly, especially glad she's chosen to! We've of course worked on some things, but there's always room for improvement. Jesica will read these and we'll work on what you've suggested (old pros...!) All of your suggestions are greateully accepted/appreciated, and we will work on them. Thanks for not forgeting about the 45!
ReplyDeleteOmg, i've never seen you perform, and this being the first time i see you, i'm stunned!!! i love your poem and i love your voice, keep it up, cause you definately have the potential.
ReplyDeleteSome things you have to work on, like what ryan said. The moving back and forth thing has gotta stop, although sometimes you might not be able to realize you're doing it. i'm not sure if at one point, you smiled when you heard how the class reacted, but if that's the case try to stay focused on the mood and tone you want to project and it'll show people that you're focused and not easily distracted, and the transition of your facial expressions and tone will all fall into place.
joel:"that was real good."
ReplyDeleteWHoa...man...is that the first reading? wow she's on Nuyorican cafe level..dang..I guess 145 are in really good hands..well all i gotta say is to stop rocking back and forth but she got everything down pat!!
ReplyDeleteWHOA!!
Hey when is the slam?
Damn, Craig, i didn't get to see the video...GOOD LUCK!!!!
ReplyDeleteDamn man...i missed it.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to see how she performed this poem, she said the poem to me already,
but it would've been better to watch her perform.
Well anywayz, i'm pretty confident that she will do good in the slam and give everybody chills. I guess that when I see her 4 da first time it'll be a suprise 4 me.
Good luck in the slam, and oh yeah-
I'll be there.
C ya laterrr(Thursday) and
(Ahehemmm.......
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!!!!!)
this thursday?
ReplyDeleteyou mean the one comin up now?
if so..ILL B THERE!! i got regents week off!!
YEAH!
jessica calm down! u can do it go to your happy place so tak that pitty full face off or u want me to take it off of u ok theres nothing to wary about ok i strongly suggest mr craig to attach kimberly to u for alittle wile ok so u can do it i wish u the best of good luck!!!
ReplyDeletedo not dout your self u can do it u can no one is perfect so take easy u r the true tallent sayy that to your mind before u start and wile u r in your happy place ok!! because i would for u
ReplyDeleteyou did it and mr. caig didnt Ieven have to attach mrs. happy to u c i told u can do it and u didnt dout yourself and u got the highest score well u did beter than me thank u for taking my advice u r the fam the slam fam ofcourse U DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN I KNEW U CAN DO IT U R GREAT U ROCKED THAT STAGE U WERE THE STAGE U R THEPOEM
ReplyDeleteIM STEVEN I FORGOT MY PASS WORD IN THE CLASS WELL IN AFTER SCHOOL WILE U WERE SITING RIGHT INFRONT OF ME
c wat i told u no one is perfect like u said and u won with out being puerfect cc c i know wat im talking about no onew is puerfect like u say
ReplyDeleteits steven again