Milestone

If only I could touch people hearts
Sounds corny doesn't it?
But my words doesn't roll off my tongue as they use to
My slur is different, my mind is changing
My environment calls for progression
Not poetry
So I haven't been the same but
The more I try to connect these thoughts onto blank canvases
And the more I try to reach out for the people
I can't seem to touch off that first line
Its been a milestone for me
I've written all there is
Name it I probably written already
So you can call me a veteran
The game is tired of me
Forget the competition
I'm here for the people
Why the hell are you in this?

For some strange reason these hands don't move pens
They move souls
And my hands been tired so I haven't written anymore
And more potential they see in me
It gets harder and harder to outdo my own poetry
I've escalated onto highest cliff
And the highest point of my imagination
All I could do now is look down in my disappointment
I'm tired of writing
But I love my poems
I can't cultivate these ideas
I guess I'm too old
I'm only 15
And looks where is bring me
Officially 4 years writing this tired poetry

And my mother is so happy of what I've accomplish in recent years
But its time to put my pen down
Focus on the books now
Maybe I'll get back when I can reach people hearts
It sounds corny doesn't it?
I know but its tearing me apart
My thoughts have been heard
By my many inspirations
So the people I look forward to
Have outdone my own creations
And this portrait I'm painting
Has been already seen
I'm not a Da Vinci
But I still call this shit a masterpiece
And I'm not the one to be bragging
My hands have touch more trees than dealers
And I handle more paper than school teachers

The more poetry the more love I kept writing
Even my pen got paper cuts
But no longer can I continue my vivid gallery of achievements
Look at me
I can't beat what I've made
I'm just a wash up memory
I am
I was
I'm still writing
But I can't
I shouldn't
I will not be fighting
For an idea to spontaneously conjure up for me
Its doesn't work like that anymore
I'm past the whole spontaneous inspiration for poetry

I can't seem the look further in the future
And see me writing the millions
And millions
For the people I've given
And shared my institution
They know that I give it my all
As for now this milestone has been harder than ever for me
I've seen people for this s**t for their life
I guess I'm not that worthy
My pen, my words, my lines, my thoughts
I'm taking a break
Until I could somehow again
Touch people's hearts

Consequence (Performance Based)

My teacher said that every action has a consequence
A repercussion
I told her the definition was bulls**t
But then there a consequence for saying that too
It dawn to me
Everything that daunted me
Was because I f**ked up
And the consequence was feeling guilty
Regret
Remorse
Not a good feeling
And with my head down in detention
I looked back in reflection
And I begin to believe every word that came from my teacher's lips
Those arguments
With mom and dad
And discussion you've had
Ended up in a some sort of consequence
We live a world where we don't think ahead
And where we live for the pleasure
And forget about pain
So that means in 100 years no of us would remain right?
I see it like this
Human civilization since day 1 has been corrupted
Since Our mind discovered technology
During the age of exploration
And the more progression we've ever made
Has destroy the foundations
Look at us now forcefully feeding our government to destroy us
Our wallets on a strict diet
So you can go from point a to point b
And you don't care about a condom
Until you end on Maury
And the more naturally occurring disasters
Are capitalizing on our capital
And now inflation is happening
Our government is panicking
And those tax dollars mean nothing
Until we get out of Iraq 'cause
Our economy is moving ever slower now
You pay the same money for a bottle of water that's smaller now
And you don't got money to give a tip
So they probably spit in your order now
Its all the consequence of our actions
I lay back in detention
I regret what I said to my teacher
So I went up to her and I told her I understood now
Consequences
Repercussions
The whole nine
She was surprised
I stayed back to consult her
But my moms still grounded me for cursing in school
I told my mom I made it up to her this punishment is bulls**t
But then there was consequence for saying that too

Unlimited Inspiration

Acid Rain PT.2

I will never forget the acid rain of pain that stained my life forever…
As it slowly diminishes what I thought I was
To
What they think I am
I begin to lose hope as these showers pour onto my existence
That was existing
But now as its christening my soul, don’t tell me that I know what the hell is wrong with me
I’m just doing what I’m told
I’m just what you want to be
Because right now I don’t know who I am
These acidic words from critics
Etches a gimmick onto my mind of what I’m supposed to be
A craving of a person who can be somebody one day
And no matter how much I want to believe that, I don’t think I can
Now I’m not saying I won’t
I try
But the pressure of encouragement and wisdom rains of my life
So when ever I fail your words burn in my mind
So whenever I succeed no tears come your eye
Just a reply
“You can do better than that”
I mean I would if only could
Shit
They decide what I do
They decide where I go
They decide what is true
They decide what I know
So I begin to believe my blood isn’t mine anymore
So I bleed your empty promises and I spit nonsense that was shoved down my throat
As a constant reminder that I am your image
Not my own person
Just the one I given
Don’t ask me when the next storm comes
Because no words come to my mouth
My tongue moves according to your will

Many people say they can’t describe themselves
Mine is easy
“I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t then why would I say I am
Everyday they said what I am
I don’t know its just the way I am”
And as this acid rain of pain slowly paints a portrait of a perfect image
Penetrates minds of other people and possibly making them believe I am that gimmick
Shit I only wish I could “RIP you out of me”
But now your just embedded in me
(Now I know J is mad is me)
I busy living a life sentence
So I wonder whens the death penalty
Even if I rebel your tradition
I can not leave Earth with out your permission
And that dotted line is blank
As it awaits a signature so I can get of out of
A stupid life so I believe the grim reaper my messiah
Wait nah I could never
If even the idea never daunted on me
I’m stuck with your words that had always haunted me
So
I will never forget the acid rain of pain that stained my life forever
There is acid rain
And it falls on me

The church says"

why ya eyes full of scruteny
looking at me
cuz i realize the hipocrate shit that
you people try to convey to me
a belief of baptist preachers
that just seem to put on a show
for our country
saying in God we trust,
but how can we as a nation
believe in God
when there are so much bumbs on the street
living poor in poverty
i am not saying i am not a believer of God
or i do not go to church to praise the lord
but lord please allow me to repent before thee
because i am tierd of people trying to be the
gospel celebity
if you are not a doctor you should not
try to prescribe remedies
for the way God wants us to be
aint no body ever said
that church was the only place to pray
for i do pray for our troops
who fight for us,
we,
we never seen or have not ever picked up a bible
to read the book of Genesis
butit's only common sense
if you wanna get into heaven
you gotta read his word
words that have been put into the
mouths of Gods people
people who might not have fulfilled his
prophesis but got enough time and energy
to guide us through our trageties
why now a days every preacher wants to be
a singer
every deacan a rapist
every minister a fake
and no i'm not generalizing the Holiness of our natio
but there are a few people throughout
the world
who have sinfully destroyed
the holy name
yes God's name in vain
as she vainly stares in the mirror making sure her bosom was high enough for every man
in the congregation to see
cuz she wants to be
not that hoe
or that whore
but that crack hoe whore who is just trying
to change her life around
cuz around town she is known to do anything with anybody
for anything
damn
hipocracy is just another word that only sinners
can see
read
say
but the truth is the true hipocrites lie within the ministry

Tears

I feel that tears are only apart of some ones imagination
you wonder why I don’t cry and hold my chest up high
well it’s because I don’t feel the need to show my
sensitive side to someone \who don’t care
you wonder who I’m talking to
well to tell you the truth it’s you
you are anyone who has put me down in my life
you are anyone who feel the need to admire me with an attitude
you are anyone who don’t want me to succeed
you are anyone who have never really seen me cry
and it’s not because I’m shy or because the amount
of pride I own is to high no it’s because I don’t know
maybe it’s for those who die within a inch of their life
or for those who are forced by dirty men on the street to lose apart of them
or maybe it’s for that poor mother who can’t seem to scrap up enough money to feed her two children
or maybe it’s because I have nomore tears left for myself since I cried so much
for those I don’t even know
or maybe it’s because God has created only me without a heart and I am
suppose to live emotionless
motionless towards the mortal who pains
or maybe it’s because you are the person who cause me the most pain in my life
you know I used to look up to you but now
all I can do is cry

Just Don't Let Go

Just...
please, hold that thought
Its not to cut you off,
its just to keep those memories alive
Never have i struggled so much to remember
what it was like to speak those words
Those words that bound me to you in every way i
ever hoped for
Each word,
Each phrase
Each verse
Written so creatively, yet instinctively to the heart, so
Don't
Just don't leave me here to wonder what i'd do without you
Because there's not one minute of my life that goes by that i don't suffer
Reaching out to you has become more difficult beyong belief
But what can i do?
Let...Go?
How could i?
You surge through every vein that brings life to my very being
It's mere repetition is how i live, i love, i laugh
The reason why every painted hand, crescent foot, and existing voice has a meaning
Although your beat is faint, i won't leave you,
i won't give you up
My inspration is nowhere to be found, but
Try your best to be my saviour
Just don't let go of me