Dec 9, 2008

Homeless

This box can’t keep me warm
This trash doesn’t fill me for long
Short-changed
Literally on the subway
No matter how much I beg
Only get a couple dollars for just one day
I try to save but it’s kind of hard when your shower is the rain
You just make me sick with your phones in your ears
You’re deaf when I speak
But I know that you hear
And my muffles come through your headphones
Kind of hard to not notice a vagabond I know
I used to be “civilized”
Used be steady with a 9 to 5
Brought home the bacon
For me, myself, and I
That’s 3 times the food I get currently from January to July
Only two sets of clothes now I don’t got a home
Foreclosed probably 4 or 5 months ago
Now I’m alone
Can’t get a job
Can’t sleep with your car alarms blaring
I’m poor
It’s apparent
But it doesn’t mean I’m not less than a human
You stare at me with confusion
I’ve had a college education
But a Bachelor’s can only get you so far without losing
Been draining weight, been force to pick your pockets
Sell goods at pawn shop
Your watches and lockets
Your game boys I cop it
Even those IPods and mp3s
Yes I got it
Cop it
Before cops stop it
I profit
But enough for one bowl of rice
Thanks Stock Market
What is a recession for you, is just more of a pain for me
Higher prices for goods mean more money to eat
Since financially I can’t stand on my own two feet
You probably love your flat screen TVs
Stuck on the stamps you stuck on your stocks
You get cut from your job yet I don’t see you on my block
My house is always filthy
Thanks to you
Wipe your own feet at my bedroom
Disrespect
Simply is just that
I can’t show respect back
Don’t see change
So two seconds later where your chain at?
Yes
Around my neck
That’s my check
That’s my salary
But don’t have any hope left
And I still pray to an empty voice
Still I get cleaned by nature
I’m free by law
But yet banded by paper?
How could I savor, this life without saviors
This game without kings just pawns in our way but
The obstacles we tend to topple in our path
It’s optional if you take advantage or pass
If you tend risk it
Then you miss it
You get pay back
Called consequences
I got hit hard in my wallet
I’m just broke now
Jump off this roof
God
I finally got a home now

Aug 13, 2008

~Untitled ~but inspired by her


She is starting to understand
How the world works
And between the quivering breaths she takes
I want to hold her hand
“It’s okay
The truth isn’t supposed to be easy “

She finds herself plying double Dutch
Jump
Jump
Quick
quick
1, 2
1 ,2
1 ,2
She hippity hops betweens the lines that cause her to feel like an outcast
Never falling off rhythm because the
Ropes will hit hard
If the rhythm is broken
“Finding your self between middle school summers isn’t easy”
I try to pretend like I know what I’m saying
Because I know that if I sound confident she will feel so

“ I’m afraid “
She says with the high pitch giggle I am way to familiar with .
this Is the giggle given to the wind
While butter files get their wings caught between your vocal cords
“ it only makes senses for u to feel this way “

When u can no longer linger in the bliss of ignorance
The essence of not knowing
hunts your new found knowledge
Yes !
We have been born into a world where every piece of who u are has to be critiqued
Yes!
These bridges will one day have to be crossed if you
Choose to LIVE your life
But please don’t allow your anxiety attacks To pigeon hold u to the
Things the that are accepted in this society
don’t fall victim to theses classifications
Stop jumping
Breath easy
this is who u are .

Jun 30, 2008

Milestone

If only I could touch people hearts
Sounds corny doesn't it?
But my words doesn't roll off my tongue as they use to
My slur is different, my mind is changing
My environment calls for progression
Not poetry
So I haven't been the same but
The more I try to connect these thoughts onto blank canvases
And the more I try to reach out for the people
I can't seem to touch off that first line
Its been a milestone for me
I've written all there is
Name it I probably written already
So you can call me a veteran
The game is tired of me
Forget the competition
I'm here for the people
Why the hell are you in this?

For some strange reason these hands don't move pens
They move souls
And my hands been tired so I haven't written anymore
And more potential they see in me
It gets harder and harder to outdo my own poetry
I've escalated onto highest cliff
And the highest point of my imagination
All I could do now is look down in my disappointment
I'm tired of writing
But I love my poems
I can't cultivate these ideas
I guess I'm too old
I'm only 15
And looks where is bring me
Officially 4 years writing this tired poetry

And my mother is so happy of what I've accomplish in recent years
But its time to put my pen down
Focus on the books now
Maybe I'll get back when I can reach people hearts
It sounds corny doesn't it?
I know but its tearing me apart
My thoughts have been heard
By my many inspirations
So the people I look forward to
Have outdone my own creations
And this portrait I'm painting
Has been already seen
I'm not a Da Vinci
But I still call this shit a masterpiece
And I'm not the one to be bragging
My hands have touch more trees than dealers
And I handle more paper than school teachers

The more poetry the more love I kept writing
Even my pen got paper cuts
But no longer can I continue my vivid gallery of achievements
Look at me
I can't beat what I've made
I'm just a wash up memory
I am
I was
I'm still writing
But I can't
I shouldn't
I will not be fighting
For an idea to spontaneously conjure up for me
Its doesn't work like that anymore
I'm past the whole spontaneous inspiration for poetry

I can't seem the look further in the future
And see me writing the millions
And millions
For the people I've given
And shared my institution
They know that I give it my all
As for now this milestone has been harder than ever for me
I've seen people for this s**t for their life
I guess I'm not that worthy
My pen, my words, my lines, my thoughts
I'm taking a break
Until I could somehow again
Touch people's hearts

Consequence (Performance Based)

My teacher said that every action has a consequence
A repercussion
I told her the definition was bulls**t
But then there a consequence for saying that too
It dawn to me
Everything that daunted me
Was because I f**ked up
And the consequence was feeling guilty
Regret
Remorse
Not a good feeling
And with my head down in detention
I looked back in reflection
And I begin to believe every word that came from my teacher's lips
Those arguments
With mom and dad
And discussion you've had
Ended up in a some sort of consequence
We live a world where we don't think ahead
And where we live for the pleasure
And forget about pain
So that means in 100 years no of us would remain right?
I see it like this
Human civilization since day 1 has been corrupted
Since Our mind discovered technology
During the age of exploration
And the more progression we've ever made
Has destroy the foundations
Look at us now forcefully feeding our government to destroy us
Our wallets on a strict diet
So you can go from point a to point b
And you don't care about a condom
Until you end on Maury
And the more naturally occurring disasters
Are capitalizing on our capital
And now inflation is happening
Our government is panicking
And those tax dollars mean nothing
Until we get out of Iraq 'cause
Our economy is moving ever slower now
You pay the same money for a bottle of water that's smaller now
And you don't got money to give a tip
So they probably spit in your order now
Its all the consequence of our actions
I lay back in detention
I regret what I said to my teacher
So I went up to her and I told her I understood now
Consequences
Repercussions
The whole nine
She was surprised
I stayed back to consult her
But my moms still grounded me for cursing in school
I told my mom I made it up to her this punishment is bulls**t
But then there was consequence for saying that too

Unlimited Inspiration

Jun 20, 2008

Acid Rain PT.2

I will never forget the acid rain of pain that stained my life forever…
As it slowly diminishes what I thought I was
To
What they think I am
I begin to lose hope as these showers pour onto my existence
That was existing
But now as its christening my soul, don’t tell me that I know what the hell is wrong with me
I’m just doing what I’m told
I’m just what you want to be
Because right now I don’t know who I am
These acidic words from critics
Etches a gimmick onto my mind of what I’m supposed to be
A craving of a person who can be somebody one day
And no matter how much I want to believe that, I don’t think I can
Now I’m not saying I won’t
I try
But the pressure of encouragement and wisdom rains of my life
So when ever I fail your words burn in my mind
So whenever I succeed no tears come your eye
Just a reply
“You can do better than that”
I mean I would if only could
Shit
They decide what I do
They decide where I go
They decide what is true
They decide what I know
So I begin to believe my blood isn’t mine anymore
So I bleed your empty promises and I spit nonsense that was shoved down my throat
As a constant reminder that I am your image
Not my own person
Just the one I given
Don’t ask me when the next storm comes
Because no words come to my mouth
My tongue moves according to your will

Many people say they can’t describe themselves
Mine is easy
“I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t then why would I say I am
Everyday they said what I am
I don’t know its just the way I am”
And as this acid rain of pain slowly paints a portrait of a perfect image
Penetrates minds of other people and possibly making them believe I am that gimmick
Shit I only wish I could “RIP you out of me”
But now your just embedded in me
(Now I know J is mad is me)
I busy living a life sentence
So I wonder whens the death penalty
Even if I rebel your tradition
I can not leave Earth with out your permission
And that dotted line is blank
As it awaits a signature so I can get of out of
A stupid life so I believe the grim reaper my messiah
Wait nah I could never
If even the idea never daunted on me
I’m stuck with your words that had always haunted me
So
I will never forget the acid rain of pain that stained my life forever
There is acid rain
And it falls on me

Jun 18, 2008

The church says"

why ya eyes full of scruteny
looking at me
cuz i realize the hipocrate shit that
you people try to convey to me
a belief of baptist preachers
that just seem to put on a show
for our country
saying in God we trust,
but how can we as a nation
believe in God
when there are so much bumbs on the street
living poor in poverty
i am not saying i am not a believer of God
or i do not go to church to praise the lord
but lord please allow me to repent before thee
because i am tierd of people trying to be the
gospel celebity
if you are not a doctor you should not
try to prescribe remedies
for the way God wants us to be
aint no body ever said
that church was the only place to pray
for i do pray for our troops
who fight for us,
we,
we never seen or have not ever picked up a bible
to read the book of Genesis
butit's only common sense
if you wanna get into heaven
you gotta read his word
words that have been put into the
mouths of Gods people
people who might not have fulfilled his
prophesis but got enough time and energy
to guide us through our trageties
why now a days every preacher wants to be
a singer
every deacan a rapist
every minister a fake
and no i'm not generalizing the Holiness of our natio
but there are a few people throughout
the world
who have sinfully destroyed
the holy name
yes God's name in vain
as she vainly stares in the mirror making sure her bosom was high enough for every man
in the congregation to see
cuz she wants to be
not that hoe
or that whore
but that crack hoe whore who is just trying
to change her life around
cuz around town she is known to do anything with anybody
for anything
damn
hipocracy is just another word that only sinners
can see
read
say
but the truth is the true hipocrites lie within the ministry

Tears

I feel that tears are only apart of some ones imagination
you wonder why I don’t cry and hold my chest up high
well it’s because I don’t feel the need to show my
sensitive side to someone \who don’t care
you wonder who I’m talking to
well to tell you the truth it’s you
you are anyone who has put me down in my life
you are anyone who feel the need to admire me with an attitude
you are anyone who don’t want me to succeed
you are anyone who have never really seen me cry
and it’s not because I’m shy or because the amount
of pride I own is to high no it’s because I don’t know
maybe it’s for those who die within a inch of their life
or for those who are forced by dirty men on the street to lose apart of them
or maybe it’s for that poor mother who can’t seem to scrap up enough money to feed her two children
or maybe it’s because I have nomore tears left for myself since I cried so much
for those I don’t even know
or maybe it’s because God has created only me without a heart and I am
suppose to live emotionless
motionless towards the mortal who pains
or maybe it’s because you are the person who cause me the most pain in my life
you know I used to look up to you but now
all I can do is cry

Jun 6, 2008

Just Don't Let Go

Just...
please, hold that thought
Its not to cut you off,
its just to keep those memories alive
Never have i struggled so much to remember
what it was like to speak those words
Those words that bound me to you in every way i
ever hoped for
Each word,
Each phrase
Each verse
Written so creatively, yet instinctively to the heart, so
Don't
Just don't leave me here to wonder what i'd do without you
Because there's not one minute of my life that goes by that i don't suffer
Reaching out to you has become more difficult beyong belief
But what can i do?
Let...Go?
How could i?
You surge through every vein that brings life to my very being
It's mere repetition is how i live, i love, i laugh
The reason why every painted hand, crescent foot, and existing voice has a meaning
Although your beat is faint, i won't leave you,
i won't give you up
My inspration is nowhere to be found, but
Try your best to be my saviour
Just don't let go of me

Apr 27, 2008

I Am the Bamm

Summer sunshine blazed the school lot like bright stadium lights giving our grayish fields tans,

Converting this concrete complex of a field into our own gridiron.

Shrieks of “I’m open, I’m open” are screamed furiously through the sore tonsils of young boys,

As we hear the quick and hard steps of sneakers running through garbage rubble.

My ears take notice of the silent “choo-choo” of a freight train on track directed at me.

But my eyes do not,

Because they are searching for the thrown ball which will relieve my nose of the entrapping stench of defeat,

Allowing me to embrace the thickened air of sweat, making tired boys smell like dogs too wet

But the sweet scent of success never enters my nostrils as the track ends,

And the “choo-choo” turns into a grand “Ka-Bamm!” on which I am the bam.

His thick knee hits mine, his broad shoulder hits my mouth,

The back of my head lands harshly on the concrete as my elbows fail to delay the fall.

I open my eyes five seconds later and my lips taste like rotten water but I know it’s blood,

I feel handicapped because my kneecap is battered and my head seems to have a drill rammed into its back,

I realize the laws of physics are acts of injustice because I am the one convicted.

Mar 4, 2008

Do's and Don'ts of loving you

I'm not a rough rider type girlfriend

that will deck any chick in the mouth for even looking at my boyfriend

I don't fight dudes

To just cry with girls.

I don't pick fights.

I don't criticize.

I don't even mind when my Friends step,

spit, piss, and step all over me like

I'm the old project building hallway.

I don't worry about little things.

I don't share enough with the good times in life.

I fear pleasurable moments

and somehow always end up with the painful ones

I'm just a soft spoken, poetry writing, open-minded type of catch

covered in uniformity.

Sometimes I leak out words of truth

from my finger tips then wipe it up before any one can tell

I reach my hand to God only to find out being 5'3"

means having short arms that can't even reach your fathers shoulder for attention.



I don't talk behind backs

unless Katrine starts stroking through my blood stream

tell me if you can hear the poor pedestrian cells scream

the thought of you Jonathan Heins makes my heart race

makes my stomach tap dance across school

then do breast strokes and deep dives in poetry

spilling my teenage love affair everywhere

but it hurts having the idea of me, being just another chick

another fish in the sea that he happened to catch with some good bate

It's weird that when you didn't pick up your phone I felt alone

but it hurts that I went running to call my ex

5 minutes after my short depression.

I don't cheat, I can't cheat

I don't mess because I won't mess

I don't even flirt with others because I'm always thinking about you.



Though I do write poems to long for hands to be stained with

and fantasize about you and I

being physically connected through mental orgasms set off by metaphors like

your erection is nothing but a mere 40 oz.

while your mind is a bottle of Diva Vodka....how i would love one sip of it

Your million dollar mind is to expensive for emotional poor chick

who only afford to give you $2 worth of body

While I do give you my word

instead of kicks and jeans

that will be played out in 5 years or more

but how many of these chicks can afford to care someone besides them self for a change?

How many don't depend on their man's wallet to keep their relationship in shape.

You could just write me a poem, sing me a song, pluck the petals off of a daisy

and tell me if I like you.

Just don't buy me a sweater, or roses that really smell like poo poo

don't get me a promise ring because I am not Tiffany Evans!

I don't want much...just you and if you did give something

make sure it was a homemade gift made with love,

I'm into little things like good mom

Tell me I'm pretty but only if you think it's true.

Send my the FYI of loving you.

Listen keep it real tell me how you feel

you know i always will

I mean I do tell you the deal

because every half lie finds it's whole truth,

That's why i don't understand why silly little girl act like they do.



I don't want to be hurt again
I'm tired of tired tears
I do care for you
i care enough to fear the thought of you slipping into the arms of a girl that shares my heart
I don't want to love you
I don't want to fall asleep with you mentally
to physically be pissed all over the fact I didn't get a good morning kiss
I don't want to love you
but I'm beginning to think, I do.
I guess that was the real do and don't of loving you.






Feb 1, 2008

Faith

Why can't we all just have some faith?
Not really talkin bout the judism. christianity or budaism
but im talking about that faith that we have in ourselves
the faith that has not necessarily been threr from the get go
but the faith that we have fought to obtain
that we hope to remain
in our hearts and our minds
as we try to find
who we really are in this life
growing up knowing that im human
accepting my faults
and accepting that i must to
go through pain
has kept me sane
No we are not perfect but we must try
to allow our faith to flow up our toes
through our bones and around our veins
i know i may have a little to much compasion for this so called Faith
i but i believ in something
and i believe that this something
will allow me to prosper
and become successful
as i try to take that path of adulthood
not knowing what i should or should not do
i will make my own mistakes because i have Faith
there should never be a time in someones life where
the only way to go is down don't sit around
just look for a path to your valley of success
don't regress never give up on a challenge
because every challenge is just another test
remember the old tales of the old ancestors
as they grew old and withered into a spot in our hearts
they told us never to use darts to clog the
emptiness in our minds


hey guys long time no write so heres a draft of a clearly unorganized and yet to be completed poem, i want to continue it so any suggestions will be greatly appreciated

Story of a life

i want to see a fantasy role played
by me i could be a movie star or
whom ever i want to be i can rule the world
or knock it downwith a fist i can sing a sweet
song to my grandchildren as i reminise
i can dance on top of the moon while everyone watches
they can aplaude so loud and even i would not be able to stop it
i could mourn the death of an old pet friend or i could
buy a knew one and startover again i can fish a million
dollars outof the ocean or i could wish that it could
become my favorite lotion i can sing a song at the top of my lungs
or i could save the moment because that could've
been the last song i've ever sung i can study hard
and be whom ever i want to be or i could live the
life with the fantasy role played by me.


Carissma T Hughes
Copyright ©2008 Carissma T. Hughes

DESTINY

I'm living deep in sin where
my dreams are being held with in
i have no hopes of becoming
rich or famous
but i guess all our hopes are
held with in us
we might be afraid to express
how we really feel
but do we really understand
that life is thereal deal
i have succeded in so many
things that people have tried
to take away from me
But i know God has a perfect destiny
that he feels fits me
i've been wounded by hate and
stiched with confidence
but do any body really know what
my angerconfinds in
well nobody really knows me like i do
so im gonna be somebody like i should
so when life seems down don't wear a frown
just be happy and know that you also hane a destiny

Carissma T Hughes
Copyright ©2008 Carissma T. Hughes

LOVE STRUCK

I've been emotionally crippled and twisted
and tossed
up side down love that feeling of that love feelingi've
been shakened and hurt and wounded with feari've
been stripped by people down to my lastteari've been
tossed on a street corner because noone cared
i've been stabbed with a unlovable dart
that seems to be digging and and ripping my flesh and heart since the day i was born
i've been told that that was the way of love
i've never been able to admit to no one
that the love i hold is a love to deep
to share with a ruined soulbut now my life has taken a new toll

Carissma T Hughes
Copyright ©2008 Carissma T Hughes

Jan 17, 2008

Superman

See I don't write poetry
I write inspiration
I write hope to those that has been blessed to hear my creations
Called "my words"
My tongue moves souls, spit logic, digest hatred..
French kiss your ear so you can listen to my information
Lick hatred and seduce Satan
Make you come cum before I even move on from this part of my dissertation
See I'm Superman baby
And for all you know my mind has no bounds
My words take you to outer space
Beyond God's limit
My words are infinite and considered alien when people hear it
Spirits are uplifted
While witnesses fear it
Fuck villains
My comic contains critics
Judgment is only for those that are weak
And me
When I speak
My eloquent words flow through frequencies
Through radio waves gamma and UV's
Beyond your TV's and PC's
And create a spectrum that you call poetry
It is not seen only heard from lips that are grace to kiss the greatest gift
Face it shit poetry has been a savior to the teens who can't really express their feelings
And I know that feeling
So I release my hatred shit...
God gave me a pen
So I gave back composition
You gave me slams
So I brought you competition
I rain realization readily on reluctant criticism
I have only one position
Save our teens from the rap's commission


I see through the fad
Because
We don't rock new clothes
We rock new headphones
We don't show off our new shoes
We show off our new tunes
And soon we would be so engulfed with the rap society
That poetry would suffer the ultimate fate
So before I let that happen
I voice my cry for reform
Before poetry turns into a nothing more than wanna-be rappers to perform
Just as my metaphors runs quickly through your bloodstream
My pen bleeds the same blood that half my generation needs
Becuase the sucide rate only increase 183% over some 23 years
Poetry is a savior from your schools, your parents, your boyfriend, your girlfriend
Your teachers, your friends, and the annoying ones you know them
Release from stress
Is a release from death
But is only being obsecured by rap's breath
We need less teks and we need more text
My words flex their unused muscles
That has only gotten stronger from my lifting this burden
That has worsen periodically over the past couple years
The same years that transpired the infamous "Low Low Low Low Low Low Low"
I believe if she had them applebottom jeans and the boots with fur
Everybody would think she'll suck your dick and you could have sex with her
No problem, right?
Except poetry has turned the other cheek
No pun intended
And now that Superman is here
No Low ho, or foe could pound these words into your head faster that you can make your shit flaccid
My impact is massive
This is made for even idiots to understand it
Poetry
Is
My
Savior
So grasp it
Hold onto it just like I grip this pen
Just scribbling rhymes instead of my mathematics
There's your explanation for D's
Idiotic mistakes I make when people ask me
Do you need help?
No motherfucker I just hate geometry
I need poetry to keep my sanity in a class where there teach you there is a limit in every figure
Fuck
I learned that you create your limits


Now limited by music
Rap makes poetry look stupid
Its pitful motherfuckers believe that poetry is rap
Since when has that transition been made?
Rap is poetry
Poetry is creatvity
Creativtiy is innvation
Innvoation is the same shit we need for new ways to obtain information
Ocassionly I've been patient
But the obtuse nature of this society has made this poet gone into a rampage and...
Thank God Superman saved me
Or I would of care less like Britney Spears with her baby
You know what there is no use to fight
But I'll die if someone considers poetry rap, that's why is called "Crypt"tonite
But
Clearly your teks, sex, drugs doesn't hurt me
I am Superman bitch
I am poetry