the one point that made you shine
the one point that got you by
the one point that got you high
that one point
Have you ever wondered why these so called
young men are on the corner drinking and getting high?
They dropped out of school cause they couldn't just get by
their families and friends are in their house crying cause
they know sooner or latter they gonna end up dying
The cops drive around just to see if they got that crack
on the ground
Now they got these white boys calling people nigga
they parents never taught them anything i figure
the one point that made you shine
the one point that got you by
the one point that got you high
that one point
not only we got these boys screwing they life up
we got this president named Bushe that need to get locked up
he's destroying our planet it doesn't matter which way you turn it
these boys are feeling insecure
and they feeling like their being ignored
Now we got these girls
getting pregnnant at 13teen
acting like boys is what they really need
they be on hunts point selling their bodies
or they probably got aids/Hiv already
These young girls need to stop shopping at G+Hoochie
and start shopping at sears
going to boys talking about hit it baby one more time like Brittney Spears
some of them even look like Dave Chappelle
and when they smiling in people face people be like
WHAT THE HELL
we got these boys shaped like Tina Turner
working at a makeup industry and not even as a learner
twisting and turning like Ms. Jay Alexander
they be seeing couple's walking down the street and they
not even tryin to scam her
if you catch my drift
going to gyms watching men turn and go into another shift
The one point the made u shine
the one point that got u by
the one point that got u high
that one point
yo guys , I am running a poetry workshop every wednesday at 167 and gran concourse. It's free and it starts at 6pm. I would like to see ya there.
ReplyDeleteFish
917-209-4211
I'm kinda mad not everyone is posting comments, cuz, we need some, now that we're close to the competition. and damn Charisma. 7 Poems!!!?I think....
ReplyDeletei like this poem cuz you're talkng about the society u live in and saying whats in everyones perpective, that's hot. said what the girls thought, what the boys was feelin, what families were doin,and what u thought cops was doing. i like figuritive language, it mada mad sense and u had like 1 or 2 lines that really hit me hard.
advice-u said it was a draft. so, revise it then, line breaks, u got nice rhymes, but i overlooked them couple of times,remember, not every poem is performed, a lot gets done by readin, and the point in poetry is to let people know what u feel like , what u did, so u need to make those rhymes appeae at the end of the line i guess, it's nice to rhyme within a line, but u're not going to see that right away when you're readin, so, work on line breaks a bit. that's all girl, and please keep writin.